When it comes to raising children, the common perception is that a strict parenting style leads to well-behaved children. From an external point of view, children of authoritarian parents certainly seem to be more polite, obedient, compliant and easy to manage.
However, research has shown that overly-controlling parents can cause their children severe long-term psychological damage.
Strict, Authoritarian Parenting
Parents who adopt this parenting style often have strict rules and regulations in place and expect their kids to follow them to the letter. Their word is final and their kids have no room to negotiate or express their thoughts or feelings. Indeed, children brought up in this rule-oriented parenting style are allowed little freedom of thought and independent decision-making or creative experimentation is frowned upon.
Most strict parents assume that they know what’s best for their children and impose their will with little regard for their kids’ opinions or emotional needs. Punitive punishment is the preferred means of getting children to behave. Additionally, such parents rarely show affection for their children preferring to use emotional withdrawal to enhance their authority and control.
Effects On Children And The Family
Ironically, strict parents often lead their children to develop the very behavioral problems they sought to avoid in the first place. Children from these households may develop a range of mental and emotional issues including:
- Low self-esteem and self-worth because of feeling that their emotions or thoughts don’t matter to their parents.
- Poor decision-making and lack of personal responsibility stemming from their parents’ controlling nature. As a result, these kids fail to internalize personal responsibility and self-discipline.
- Defiance and rebellion towards authority.
- A tendency towards bullying. Kids learn that might is right and learn to use force and fear to manipulate and control others.
- Substance abuse, sexual promiscuity and other delinquent behavior as they seek love and acceptance outside their families.
- Depression, loneliness and even suicide attempts as they often feel they are not good enough to earn their parents’ love and affection.
- Poor parent-child relationship. Both parents and kids in such families fail to develop a close relationship based on acceptance and open communication.
Teens who develop these issues often need to be sent to a therapeutic boarding school or residential treatment center to receive professional help to reform and turn their lives around.
What Works Instead
Instead of adopting a strict and rigid mindset when raising your family, try a combination of discipline, empathy and understanding. Set age appropriate limits and rules and work with your teen to find out their passions, opinions and thoughts instead of imposing your own.
If you are the parent of a troubled teen who is struggling with mental, emotional or behavioral issues, we at Liahona Academy are ready to assist. Contact us today and let our team of highly skilled professionals help your son to overcome these issues and go on to lead a productive life.
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