How to Have a Healthier Relationship With Your Son

Does your relationship with your teen feel strained? Is he starting to pull away and seek more independence? While this is considered a normal part of growing up, there are still some things that you can do to reinforce your relationship with your son. Taking the time to build on your relationship, or rebuild it if you’ve been struggling together, will only serve to give you a strong and healthy relationship as he enters into the world as a young adult.

Stay involved in his personal life

It’s hard sometimes to think of your teen as having a life outside of your family and household. In truth, the relationships that he forms at school, at work, and while participating in sports are an important part of his development. He needs to learn how to form these relationships and manage his relationships. He may not want you to be overly involved in these relationships and his life outside of the home. That is perfectly normal. But you may still be wondering, how can you stay involved? Ask him questions about how his day went. If he gets a bit prickly, it might be a good idea not to probe too deeply. You want to be involved, but you don’t want him to feel smothered or like you are interfering in his life. Other things you could try:

• Let your teen know that you welcome his friends into your home, perhaps for a movie night or summer backyard barbecue.
• Let your teen know that you are happy to listen and provide the support he may need with his relationships.
• Provide a safe and non-judgmental space for your teen so that he feels more comfortable communicating with you.

Sharing some of your experiences as a teen and young adult may help your teen better connect with you.

Spend more time together

For some teens, the idea of spending more time with their parents can induce a serious case of cringe. Getting past that isn’t going to be a simple process. Encourage your teen to pick out a few activities that you can do together:

• A camping trip can be fun for teens and parents. Whether you rough it with a tent and a few supplies or take the glamping angle with an RV outfitted with everything you need.
• An afternoon hike up to a local point of interest can offer plenty of opportunities for you and your teen to talk, laugh, and reconnect.
• Bike rides, skateboarding, or going skiing can offer you and your teen time to reconnect over a favorite outdoor activity.
• Family movie night, with plenty of favorite snacks and sweets, can give you and your teen time to laugh together or bond over favorite superheroes.
• Dinner for two is a great way to reconnect with your teen. An evening out with your teen can offer opportunities for reconnection and building upon your relationship. Whether it’s chili dogs on the beach or a nice dinner out with pasta and shrimp, the most important factor is reconnection and the opportunity to communicate.

You may be tempted to follow your teen on social media. While this is fine for some teens, yours may not like the idea of his parent knowing about the things he posts. He may not want you to see how he interacts with his friends. We all have the right to a bit of privacy, of course. Be honest with your teen about your reasons for wanting to keep up with him on social media. If he is still against the idea, let it go for a while as you focus on strengthening your relationship with it. Communication and trust are important parts of your healthy relationship with your son. He may allow you to connect with him on social media but don’t push it too much. Your goal is always to keep your relationship healthy with your teen. You are bound to get into scraps and arguments with your teen, no matter how strong your relationship is. The key is how you resolve these arguments. With strong communication and strong trust, you’ll be able to work through any concerns your relationship faces.