Many parents have caught their toddlers or preschoolers redhanded, sneaking a cookie after dinner or even taking a piece of candy from a local store. While the incident is embarrassing for parents, especially if the theft is from someplace outside the home, a simple conversation about right and wrong usually does the trick. Why, then, do some children revert to stealing once again when they grow older? And what can parents do about it?
For any parent, learning their teen is stealing from the home can be upsetting and difficult, particularly if the teen is already struggling with other behaviors. In fact, stealing might be the final straw in some instances. However, when you approach the problem with compassion, understanding, and a proactive mindset, you might be able to provide your teen with the support and resources they need to turn things around and get back on a more positive path. Our team at Liahona Academy has helped countless teens over the years face the root cause of their behaviors and learn to make smarter, healthier choices. Our experiences have also afforded us the chance to support the parents of those teens. Continue reading to learn what steps to take to get to the bottom of stealing behaviors and what resources are available for you and your teen.
Why Do Teenagers Steal?
As you can imagine, there’s not one concrete reason why teens steal. Rather, there is often a collection of things that lead to the behavior, which makes it even more frustrating for parents as they try to navigate through the twists and turns of raising an adolescent. However, some of the more common reasons include the following:- Peer Pressure: Adolescents may experience peer pressure to steal in order to make friends or blend in with specific peer groups.
- Financial Hardship: If a teen’s family is struggling for money, the teen might steal out of necessity.
- Thrill-Seeking Behavior: Stealing can provide some teenagers with an adrenaline or excitement rush.
- Problems with Impulse Control: Teenagers may act impulsively without thinking through the repercussions because they are still working on developing self-control.
- Coping Strategy: Teens dealing with emotional or psychological problems, such as stress, anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, may turn to theft as a coping strategy.
How Should Parents Talk to Teens About Stealing?
While your first reaction might be to yell, punish, and then yell some more, it’s crucial to understand that the way you approach the situation has a huge impact on how your teen will feel and respond. Teenagers are more likely to storm off, withdraw, or do something worse when you start the conversation by yelling or screaming. In fact, when you first realize they’re stealing, take a step back, as mentioned above, and allow yourself to process your own emotions, searching for that root cause, and then taking it a step further to explore the issue as a whole. Ultimately, open communication and tact are necessary when confronting your adolescent about stealing. Here are some strategies to consider:- Focus on Composure: Reacting with fury or condemnation can stifle dialogue, so maintain your composure with deep breathing, patience, and a will to truly hear what your teen has to say.
- Select the Appropriate Time: Choose a quiet, unoccupied time to have a conversation with your adolescent.
- Express Concern: Rather than making accusations, begin the conversation by expressing your concerns. This is best done by making "I" statements to express how you feel.
- Actively Listen: Let your teen share their viewpoint and the motivations behind their behavior. Often, especially if you’ve not been able to determine the root cause, this can offer insightful information.
- Establish Clear Boundaries: Make it very clear that stealing is not acceptable conduct, and talk about the repercussions.
- Look for Solutions Together: Work with your adolescent to identify positive solutions for the problem, including therapy or counseling if there are underlying problems.
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